Helping Others

Don't you hate aching feet?

I do.

"I'm on holidays, sure I can help you with the bar" does not mean "I'm on holidays, sure I can spend ten hours working in your bar and clean it all up before I go". Anyway, la hostelería es un invento del demonio.

Triple Whopper

Don't you hate Burger King?

Gosh! No, of course I don't. Who could?

I hate missing it's burgers though. Damn diet, damn new metabolism, damn not being a not so skinny healthy looking teenager anymore, damn hunger.

The Hunger

Don't you hate world famine?

I do.

Yep, I'm on a damn diet again.

Extreme Challenge

Don't you hate this dude?I do.

C'mon mister Jesús Calleja, stop pretending you're a real mountaineer because you're not. You're just a TV producer who likes travelling to cool places. That's awesome but it doesn't make you a mountaineer or a good climber or a romantic adventurer or anything like that. I'm sorry but it's true. Look at your mountain gear: you could climb Mount Olympus with that equipment if your sponsors were willing to pay for the spacecraft trip to Mars. When was the last time you had to save for a trip to Nepal? I've been really lucky with money so far but I know people who have been saving for years just to pay the plane tickets. And what about your comments during the show? You're all the time saying crap like "Look at that crack in the ice, a bad step and I'll be dead" "Look at the abyss, just a bad step..." "We are just a few meters from death" "If we get lost here we'll die of hypothermia" and blah, blah, blah. Yes boy, we know. You're always a step away from a terrible death. But don't worry because you're not going to die. You're just not the type of dude who dies during an expedition.

Shut up and show some respect for the guys from Al Filo.

I'm probably just envious anyway.

Ixelles Via Delirium Tremens

Don't you hate when a family trip to Brussels evolves into a nightmare of drama and lack of self control after, ahm, let's say five 11% beers?

I do.

Miguel who can't speak french (not to talk about flemish) got lost all drunk and enraged at three AM, his sister Maria cried for about half an hour because she had just had an ugly fight with him, our cousin Marta cried bitterly because she was sure her camera had been stolen but it was in Marina's purse who was banging some flemish belgian in the bathroom, both of them drunk, totally unaware of the family chaos. And there was me, all sober, trying to pull them all together again to go on a quest to find Miguel.

At least I gotta say it was funny when Marina got out the bathroom, bruises all over her body for she's got far too much passion for such a small toilet. It was funny as well seeing her falling off a bench because she was totally wasted. And it was kinda useful that Marta thought her camera had been stolen because in revenge she stole about six packets of cigarettes so we all smoked for free for the next two days or so. And it was cool when Miguel found a cuban immigrant who lent him his cell phone to call us so we could find him. And it was amazing, incredibly awesome when I sneaked into bed and that damn night was finally over.

Anyway, Brussels rocks!

Tiresome

Don't you hate never ending stories?

I do.

Some republican dudes killed two soldiers in Northern Ireland early this morning. That's what I hate of course, Ende's book is really cool. Just have look at me, my irish republican friends: I got over leaving Montana, I got over a friend's assassination, I got over breaking up with Ana (almost over). Guys, the war ended on 1921... GET THE FUCK OVER IT. Repeat with me: war is over. Over. Over.

Dude, That Was Weird; We're Getting Spectacular & Time Hurts

Greetings from Jyvaaskylaa. I haven't written a shit lately so lets make a great comeback. Three posts for the price of one. All-genuine basque posts for you to enjoy!

1 DUDE, THAT WAS WEIRD

Don't you hate feeling somewhat confused?

I do.

I'm a Spaniard. I'm Spanish, which pretty much mean I lack national identity. On the other hand I'm basque. Of basque ascent to be precise. Got no hopes (no nightmares either) the Basque Country will be an actual country soon. But today... dude, that was weird.

This is a democracy so sometimes we vote besides mourning those who decided to get involved in politics and got killed because of it. Today we did. Just like it's always been since Euskadi is Euskadi the PNV (the ruling independentist party) got more seats than anybody else in the basque parliament. But, surprise!, they may not get the Lehendakaritza if the next two most voted parties reach an agreement. That would bring socialist Patxi Lopez ass directly into Ajuria Enea. Ooops, yeah, lehendakari is the title for the basque president and Ajuria Enea is the basque version for the White House. That means the next lehendakari could be Lopez. Lehendakari Lopez. Lopez. A basque Lopez. Weird. Really weird. After all those years voting socialist it seems the little nationalist in me is aching today. If only he was a Petrikorena! But no. He's a Lopez. A Lopez. Lopez. Well, he isn't lehendakari yet. Let us wait for tomorrow newspapers. And for the talks between PP and PSE. More surprises and fun await. This is Euskadi ladies and gentlemen, and nothing's what it seems!

2 We're Getting Spectacular

Don't you hate boring casualties?

I do.

After all those low profile bombs last year and the killing of a former PSE member last year who wasn't even into politics anymore ETA has decided it is time to amuse people again. That killing wasn't funny at all (fuck, it wasn't) and the last blastings were not even noisy. Do you remember last IRA bombs in The City of London? They were cool indeed. Office buildings have lots of glass to break. This morning we had our own in Bilbao! Check it out:

Yeah, that's definitely a lot more classy. We're improving: no deaths today but a totally Hollywood-like look for that one.

3 Time Hurts.

Don't you hate all those hot young basque men evolving into something a lot less attractive?

I do.

Just have a look at Garikoitz Aspiazu:

DUDE THAT IS DEFINITELY HOT!

Remember those days? You we're not yet in ETA but used to spend your days burning atm's and doing totally nationalist things. All the girls in the campus wanted to be shagged by you. And a few men too.

NOT THE HOTTEST BUT TOTALLY FUCKABLE
That pic was probably taken by the time things got serious. You scaped to France and lived as a super secret basque special agent in a nice house with your girl in Donibane Garazi. It was cool to be the big boss and be hiding all the time. Life was intense.

WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO YOU??
Fuck, you've been caught. Damn, I really expected you to keep being hot. At least you'd be nice to be seen on TV. Cause you've been on TV all week long.

Hell, if all basque men are to look like you by the time we're 35 I only have ten years to find a good man. And counting.

Recession

Don't you hate nowadays' slowing economic growth?

I do.

Unemployment sucks. Low salaries suck. Workers on strike suck. Fucking OPEC, we should bomb them all, just like we did in Iraq. All this crap is their fault. They got us just like a drug dealer got his junkies and whores.

By the way, eta planted a bomb in the headquarters of some newspaper but they didn't kill anyone this time. Fucking eta. They're as evil as those petroleum exporters, only far more stupid.

Overdrinking

Don't you hate fucking your stomach up cause you drank gallons of alabama slammer last night?

I do.

Everything tastes like boiled egg yolk to me today, especially after belching.

Update

Don't you hate updates?


I do.

Anyway here it goes: eta killed somebody else a month ago or so, and planted a bomb yesterday night - no victims though. It has finally stopped snowing here and now it's just raining 24/7. I'm job hunting again... maybe heading for Maastricht next year. I haven't got any fitter and summer is almost here. I'm gonna have to work my ass off if I want to be a desirable chunk of beach meat in July. And god knows I need to be desirable by then!

Not A Good Year Indeed

Don't you hate the phantom menace?

I do.

Gunmen, draughts, hurricanes, earthquakes... what's next? Tragedy haunts every country I move on.

Politicians, Supermodels And Crap

Don't you hate politicians telling you white is black like it actually was this way?

I do.

Was it John Edwards claiming he's a minority candidate? Was it Johnny claiming he, as a WASP, is part of a minority among that nigger and the lesbian running for the presidency? And was it Tyra Banks giving he a high five??? That girl is definitely retarded. Or maybe its just the end is nigh.

Reminder

As every year, for two years now, our annual Kick An Emo Kid Event will be held next sunday morning in Jose's town, being this time Jyväskylä FI. The event is subject to change this year, possibly being renamed as Kick An Emo Student. Even in the case the new denomination is adopted, rules will be similar to those on former events: random emo kid, no warnings and just one punch, unless the kid tries to punch back. You're all welcome and encouraged to participate.


And remember,

Every emo kid deserves it!

Doubts and Compulsive Eating

Don't you hate being uncertain about your feeding habits?

I do.

I'm not fat, but I spend my weekdays watching the erratic snowflakes falling outside while eating whatever I can find in the kitchen. Everything is low fat but boy, I can't spend more than fifteen minutes without chewing things. Well, at least I'm pretty.

The Usual Assassination

Another killing in Euskadi. Isaias Carrasco, a former town councilor in Arrasate (Gipuzkoa) has died a few minutes ago after being shooted by an ETA gunman.

Fucking eta.

Sick To My Stomach

Don't you hate when sadistic horror movie directors deem a raping scene will make his film a bit more scary?

I do.

I love horror movies. I like zombies eating out someone else's face. I like Leatherface cutting people into pieces. I like Jason coming out the lake at the end of friday the thirteenth. I like Mr Mayers' way of walking. But rape simply makes me sick. Stop doing this. Genitalia is an issue that shouldn't be be touched in horror movies.

Mobiles & Naps

Don't you hate being woken up by a phone ring in the middle of an extra long nap?

I do.

Honey, get lost unless you're gonna help me with this boner.

Real Murcia

Don't you hate a bunch of losers?

I'm starting to do so.

Why is it none of the teams I support never ever win a shit?

Dead Corpses Everywhere

Don't you hate when some NBC, HBO or whatever executive producer deems an idea is too good and profitable to die and forces it to keep walking among us under a different name and outfit?

I do.

I used to like "Sex and the City" but honestly "Cashmere Mafia" and "Lipstick Jungle" make me upchuck.

Looney Tunes

Don't you hate being told that you remind someone of a cartoon character? Not even a particular one, just a cartoon. A cartoon, hum?. Funny and not transcendental at all.

I do.

You'd better watch your tongue unless you don't want to be my psichoanalyst any longer.